Fair Winds and Following Seas

I apologize for the crazy stream of consciousness that this post contains...I am trying to work through everything from today...and maybe even force myself into having that 'one good cry' that will hopefully get me over the hump and cruising through this deployment like a pro. I almost got there after we got home from the pier, but with a child who didn't want to take a nap, I  have just ended up feeling pretty raw all afternoon.  

Today was the day.  Deployment day.  We were prepared for this, everything on our to-do list was completed and so we were worry free about all those loose ends as this date finally arrived on the calendar.

We woke up this morning and Shane cooked breakfast for us.  Trevor loves when Shane cooks, because that means pancakes!  I just burn them...need to work on that.  We packed up the last of Shaner's stuff and headed off to the ship.  We were able to spend some time with him on board, before they asked the families to depart so that they could begin their final preparations.  Shane walked us back off the pier and we said our goodbyes before I went to help out with the FRG group and wait to see the ship pull out.

Goodbye this time around was different than the last couple of times in a few ways.  On the carrier, I always dropped him off at the ship the night before they left, and then we were able to say goodnight on the phone one last time before we went to sleep that night.  This time there was more finality to it all.  There wasn't going to be a phone call a few hours later, or texts the next morning before they got underway for good.  Hugs didn't seem that they were ever tight enough this time, and one last kiss wasn't enough before we went our separate ways and he walked down the pier for the last in a very long time.

We did get to see and hear from Shane one more time before they manned the rails and pulled out.  He was able to come back to the back of the ship and wave to us, so getting that one last look really helped.  We stayed there at the pier until the ship was gone and then Trevor and I headed home.

As much as I have ever wished for peace and quiet around the house, today the silence was deafening.  It has never seen more empty than it did today.  I know that will change, but after having Shane home for so long (and not even thinking about the last couple of weeks, but the almost 5 years since he returned from his last deployment) it seemed so much different. Tonight, I am taking comfort in feeling our little girl kicking inside me.  It makes me feel that he isn't entirely gone and the silence isn't as bad as it initially seemed when we got home earlier. 

I do wish that he didn't have to go, but that isn't my focus as much as it was with past deployments.  I know that he has to go, and that he is out doing the job he loves, serving a country he loves.  How can I not support him in that?  The sadness this time comes from all the things that I know are to come...things that he will miss, things that I don't want to experience alone, but will have to anyway, and things that Trevor will miss.  

Trevor has been handling everything pretty well.  A couple of times he has said that he misses daddy.  I knew that bedtimes were going to be rough for him, so tonight I gave him a jar full of hershey kisses filled with one "goodnight kiss" from daddy to last from now until when Shaner should be home. He seems pretty excited about it, and hopefully it will help with counting down at a level he can understand.

I am off to bed...getting to bed will officially mark the end of the first day of the deployment.  It has to start somewhere.

Soccer Saturdays 3.19.13

Trevor had his first game of the season today and BOY was it night and day compared to last season.  Of course, the kids still had a blast, but to see how they have changed focus and ability wise in just a few short months is amazing.

Trevor had a great time and can't wait to go back for our next practice.  Looks like we are going to have a great season!  Go Sounders!

welp...

So, up until about 3pm yesterday afternoon I was mentally prepared for what was supposed to happen this morning and how I was going to process through all the emotions, be strong for my little T-rex and get this deployment started on the right foot at home....and then we got the phone call that due to predicted sea conditions, d-day had been delayed until after the weekend.  [Official announcement of this gem here]Extra time together as a family?  I'll take it!  Having to re-prepare for separation on Monday?  Eh, it is worth the extra time for this gang.

Upsides of note:

• Shane was able to attend Trevor's first soccer practice tonight (Soccer Saturdays resume tomorrow y'all!  Get ready for some world-class sporting events!!)
• Shane will be able to see Trevor's first soccer game of the season tomorrow.  
• One more time that we will be able to attend church as a family
• I have been given a couple more days to get used to the new lens I purchased for my camera, so hopefully pictures from the pier on Monday won't be totally worthless.
• The pier won't be 40 degrees on Monday, like it was supposed to be today.  

So, I am off to enjoy family time for the evening...Sadly here at Casa de Chapman, that means tissues and Vick's VapoRub (this pregnant lady wants some medicine!!!) for everyone tonight.  Ah well, at least we are together!  

A Hiatus I Won't Apologize For

I had gotten a little bit better about updating the blog on a regular basis during Shaner's work-ups....but I mean, other than going to the gym, swim lessons and working, how else was I going to make the time go by other than scheduling every moment of my days so that the time would pass faster....These last couple of weeks though, I have been doing everything humanly possible to make the minutes and seconds stretch for as long as they could.  Every possible second that the three of us could be together (aside from one fun date night thrown in there where it was just us two) we spent as a family doing fun stuff and trying to make the best of the preparations that we did have to get taken care of.

To recap our little hiatus:

With Shaner home for six days, we spent the mornings together watching the beautiful sunrises out the back window before getting Trevor off to school.

We replaced our couches (yay for amazing deals that stem from my cheapness turned procrastination!)  Trevor loves the new comfy couches with pillows all over.  Perfect for reading and snuggling, he says!

We switched bedrooms around...Trevor moved into the old guest room and the guestroom/nursery moved to the back of the house.  Trevor loved picking out his paint color for his room and "helping" to paint the walls.  He did originally want fire engine red, but Shane talked him out of that, and bargained for red shelves instead.  Pictures to come of that.

We went out for date night to the Commodore Theater.  It was our first time and I LOVED it.  Thank you for sitting Andrea, even if my love of sweatpants ruined the surprise that day.

We had a TREVOR DAY on Saturday.  We went to the aquarium and spent most of the morning there.  Once we got home, we finished up things in Trevor's room and then he got to pick out a movie for the night and we snuggled on the floor in the living room having dinner and dessert.  Trevor wanted to sleep out there, and have us join him, but this pregnant momma is not sleeping on the floor unless necessary.

Sunday I took the day off from work so we could spend more time together as a family and we spent most of the time running errands, packing stuff up for Shaner and getting the crown molding in the kitchen finished....almost.

Monday we had our official anatomy scan at the hospital.  Our sweet little girl (to be named Hailey Renee) is growing right on track.  We have two perfect little girl outfits hanging in what will be her closet.

This week has been back to normal for the most part.  The minutes are ticking by quickly until d-day, but like I said earlier, we are making the best of it....we don't have much of a choice.

Trevor's Winter Program

This post brought to you by the fact that if I try to send Shaner an email with photos attached, the Navy returns it to me as un-deliverable.  Lovely.  

Trevor had his winter program at school yesterday.  The kids have changed so much since their fall program this year and it is amazing how much progress they make with their music and poems that they recite!

Heart in Throat #1

Walking into school this morning, the auditorium is all set up for the winter programs that all the classes are doing this week.  Trevor excitedly points to the stage and tells me that is where he and his friends will sit to sing tomorrow morning.  He then asks "Daddy come see me sing?"  Ugh, a kick straight to the gut.  Voice cracking, I tell him "No buddy, but Mommy will bring the big camera and we can send pictures and video to Daddy so he can see you sing. Sound good?"  An enthusiastic response from Trevor, "Yeah!  That's a great fun idea!"....and then he moves on to asking about when the mailman comes to school.

Oh, to be three (almost four) and not have a care in the world.

Little Fish

Fall soccer ended perfectly schedule-wise.  We had our end of the season party the weekend before Thanksgiving, and free from weekly practice nights and Saturday morning games, we steamed right on ahead through the holidays.
Spring soccer does not start until March here, so to pass the time between New Year and then, Trevor has been doing swim lessons at the YMCA.
When he started his first session in January he hadn't been in the pool since we closed ours for the summer (on my birthday Oct 22--HAH!) so he was a little timid, but as soon as he "remembered" everything he was back to being the little fearless fish that he was a few short months before.
We are now in our second session of the year.  Trevor passed the level class that he did in January with flying colors and is ready for the next level physically, but he is much younger than the kids in the next level, so we weren't sure how he would do.  For this go-round we are having him repeat the same level just to make sure he has it 100% down.  If we have another break between the end of the spring season and when summer really ramps up, we'll do the next level.